When Good Is Good Enough
When Good Is Good Enough
On retiring my perfectionist mindset.
Being a perfectionist is not without its drawbacks. Sure, I throw myself into the task at hand with a ferocious level of commitment but it also means that if I’m not 110% happy with the outcome, I feel totally defeated. This is an exhausting way to live, my friends, and it’s one of the main reasons I’m attempting to shift my mindset from one that feels the need to be *great* *amazing* *perfect* at dozens of things to… being just okay at most things (and an expert at one or two).
Starting a new job has definitely made me reconsider this jack-of-all-trades attitude. In this digital-first, slave-to-the-algorithm age in which magazine editors find ourselves, there’s kind of an expectation that you’ll excel at everything because, frankly, there isn’t enough manpower to assign a person to just a few projects. We need to possess and master multiple skills because budgets are budgets and baby, you better get on board. But I am humble enough at 35 to recognize that I cannot and will not be the best at everything, and that this is not indicative of my overall value.
When you’re young and hungry and just starting your career, it makes sense to go above and beyond all the time in order to climb the corporate ladder — or whatever comparable industry you find yourself in during your early 20s. You might as well, since you have all the energy (and collagen) in the world. 10 to 15 years down the line, however, your priorities and expectations start to shift. Suddenly, expending all your battery life to prove that you are the GOAT feels unnecessary. Sure, you still want to demonstrate your worth but maybe you don’t have to prove yourself 24/7 since you are (hopefully) enjoying the fruits of your past labor. But what happens when you can’t shake that perfectionist inclination and accept that “good” (but not “great”) is good enough?
I honestly find it really uncomfortable to even consider not going above and beyond all the time, even though I recognize how impossible it is to be exceptional at everything I try to do. The struggle is real to recalibrate my desire to be the best with the realities of, you know, life.
Like most things in the mental health space, it’s a lot easier to dole out this type of advice than it is to adopt it for yourself. I see it with my friends that have become mothers over the past few months and years. Women, by design, have always been held to an impossible standard to have and do it all without complaint. So when my loved ones can’t get the baby down to sleep on a consistent schedule or pump enough to get by on breast milk alone, they feel like they’re failing. This is when my cheerleader side gets activated and I shout from the rooftops that they are the furthest thing from a failure — they are trying their best and that is enough. They are enough.
Not to mention the election for what is probably the 92849374907846th time this year (*cue nervous handwringing*) but this whole idea of being the best and doing the best feels distinctly American. It seems to be wrapped up in our identity of being big, brash, loud, and a little obnoxious. And I’m tired of it. I’m so exhausted by my own deep-seated need to be GREAT that I can barely recognize the value of just showing up and trying. Not to say we always deserve a participation ribbon but we can and should cut ourselves a little slack and lower our own damn standards.
So that’s what I’m attempting to do at the moment. My perfectionist side will always be there, lying in wait, suggesting that if I am not giving everything my all and achieving the best possible outcome, I have somehow fallen short. But I am trying my best to learn a different way of working, and living, in order to give myself a much deserved break. My value is not dependent on being the greatest all the time, and neither is yours. Repeat after me: sometimes good is good enough.
I’ll drink an Anxiety Beer to that.
retail < therapy
Madewell The Essential Medium Bucket Tote: Suede is everywhere this season and I couldn’t be more thrilled! It’s one of those trends that feels decidedly timeless and well-worth investing in for this year and beyond. With that in mind, I scooped up this oversized tote to act as both a computer bag when I trek to the office (which I very much enjoy after two years of working from my office/closet) and a chic daily driver. The lush wine color looks so much more expensive than it is, and is a nice contrast for an otherwise neutral outfit. I love her dearly.
2. The Outset Hydrasheer 100% Mineral Sunscreen SPF 30: I know, I know, I know, this is a celeb-founded beauty brand (hi ScarJo) but I can’t help it— this sunscreen is really good. I’m loyal to a mineral SPF to minimize my melasma patches (as opposed to a chemical formula which disperses UV energy throughout the body as heat and can trigger hyperpigmentation) so I decided to give this new launch a whirl. It blends in with zero white cast, but like any zinc-based product, you have to spend a minute or two rubbing it in. The glow is crazy and it feels incredibly comfortable on the skin. Don’t skimp on your sunscreen application just because it’s fall!!! Minimizing fine lines and dark spots requires constant vigilance.
3. Sperry Davenport Venetian Driver: No joke, I spent MONTHS looking for the perfect driving loafer on The Real Real and discovered that men’s styles were much more in line with the vibe I wanted. But my budget is not limitless so when this more affordable style popped up in my inbox, I gave it a chance (go down 1.5 sizes to make them work for women’s). They are so insanely soft and comfortable — it’s basically a little pillow on the footbed — and they have the perfect coastal grandpa aesthetic that I love. Never thought I’d be a Sperry girl but it turns out, I just had to look to the boys for inspiration.
Until next time :)
Cheers,
xxHB
*If you buy something from one of these links (and I hope you do because they’re awesome!) I might receive an affiliate commission.*
Congrats on the new gig! Xx