It’s been a whirlwind few weeks over here so thank you for bearing with me as I get my head on straight again. Between international travel, client work, family visiting, and some personal stuff, I haven’t had much time or energy to write. But amongst the absolute cluster bomb of news and media soundbites over the last three weeks, I have been thoroughly enjoying whenever a person tags me in a piece of Brat green content on IG. Hats off to you, Charli XCX, but I’m claiming at least a small bit of credit for the hue’s current popularity.
If you weren’t tuned into my 2018 obsession with all things lime green — an era that I affectionately dubbed #slimewatch — then you might not understand how deeply devoted I was to wearing and documenting the eye-watering shade. My closet oozed slimey tones in the form of shirts, dresses, shoes, and bags, my nails and makeup regularly bore the color, and any time I spotted a fellow slime lover on the street I felt compelled to catalogue it on social media. It was a ridiculous and joyful period of my life, both personally and professionally, so watching the aesthetic resurface in the current zeitgeist is bizarrely entertaining. More than that though, it’s also incredibly gratifying to witness so many friends and followers remember that period as fondly as I do. Still, for as much as each tag elicits a nostalgic smile, they’ve also incited some unexpected moments of reflection.
As it did for many people, the warped elasticity of time in the 2020s has made the last six years feel simultaneously like a blip and a lifetime. Still, I can easily scroll through my phone’s photo album and find evidence of this earlier, slime-adorned version of myself. Younger of course, captured with an outdated camera lens, but also increasingly unfamiliar, doing a different job, in a different apartment, in a different relationship, with a whole different outlook for the future. So when an Instagram tag pulls me back to this former era of my adulthood, it’s overwhelming to consider how much has changed in such a relatively short amount of time.
When you’re having a rough day, week, or even an entire year, it can be challenging to remember that the tide will eventually turn. Nothing remains in stasis forever, even something as trivial as a favorite color. We are constantly expanding and reshaping with every new experience. Just as my fondness for electric slime green has evolved (replaced by a love for lush navy blue) so too have my goals and priorities. I’ll be the first to admit, however, that I didn’t always recognize this as a good thing.
I used to believe that the dreams we have when we’re younger are supposed to remain intact until they are achieved in adulthood. After all, that’s essentially the subtext of the question “what do you want to be when you grow up?”. You establish a goal and work relentlessly to achieve it, just like the Olympians we’re currently swooning over (a stretch, but go with me here). Basically, you decide on a version of your life and stick with it until it happens… right?
Unfortunately this discourse doesn’t allow for much in the way of personal growth. In fact, it’s rare to hear someone cite changing his or her mind as the reason behind a new job or a new look or a new city. As if doing so is somehow not a valid excuse for growing and maturing in a new direction.
It’s taken me nearly 35 years to understand that we are allowed to change. It’s even (gasp) a positive. Who we were six years ago — or whatever length of time you’re reflecting on at the moment — is simply a stepping stone to reach the latest and greatest version of yourself. After all, how limiting would it be to hold yourself to standards and tastes that you set before experiencing more of what life has to offer? If that were the case, I would have never finally tried uni (not a fan), or traveled to Brazil (very much a fan), or reimagined the arc of my career (still in flux TBH). Trial and error is a highly underrated way to live, in my opinion.
So as I reflect on the small but not entirely insignificant #slimewatch period of my life, I’m allowing myself the chance to enjoy the unique facets of who I was then in tandem with the appreciation for who I am now — not to mention, the wonder over the person I will become in 5, 10, 25 years. It’s a welcome reminder for someone with chronic anxiety, who stresses way too much over the future and worries that every choice will lead me down the wrong path. Instead, I hope that I can draw upon the wisdom of the past 34 years and remember I am allowed to pivot, to change my mind, to try something new. More importantly, I will remind myself that this is not a sign of failure. In fact quite the opposite. It is simply another opportunity to become a happier, more fully realized version of myself.
I’ll drink an #AnxietyBeer to that.
retail < therapy
Kulfi Lassi Lips Staining Long-Lasting Hydrating Lip Oil: I’ve been so excited to talk about this lip oil for the last few weeks but it’s been under embargo. Now it’s fair game! I am all about a set-it-and-forget-it lip, and this stain delivers all of that without drying out your mouth. I definitely suggest exfoliating your pout before application (I like making my own scrub out of honey and sugar), applying a balm for a few minutes, drying that off and then going in with the stain. This process will help it apply evenly and last without any flaking or drying throughout the next few hours. The berry and pink nude shades are my favorites but all six colors are divine.
2. J.Crew Crinkled Side-slit Midi Dress: I’ve been on the hunt for breathable summer dresses that are comfortable in crazy hot weather and can still look cute with a few wrinkles (essential for travel when I’m not able to steam it). This style nails both. I love that it’s relaxed with the crinkled fabric but still hits the ‘90s square neckline vibe for an elevated look. The light minty color is also so pretty IRL. Honestly, this might become my most worn style for the remainder of the summer.
The Crane Wife: A Memoir in Essays, by CJ Hauser: I’ve been on a library card kick this summer in an effort to curb my book collection (I only have so much square footage in NYC). However, when a read hits me as hard as this collection did, I buy it and enjoy it forever. The titular essay “The Crane Wife” cut me right through to my feels, so much so that I think I’ve underlined every other paragraph to revisit it at a later time. CJ is a remarkable writer, gutsy and introspective in the best way, and I can’t recommend her newest book enough.
As always, thank you for being here, friends :) Until next time.
Cheers,
xxHB
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