Apologies for the delay, friends! The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of work travel (Budapest! South of France!), doggy-sitting, prepping for a bestie’s upcoming wedding, and greeting my tasty little peanut of a nephew (!!!!!!). I love when happy life things get in the way of responsibilities, don’t you?
Among other major updates, this is one Leo who is thrilled that it’s officially summer. Sure it’s hells-front-porch-hot outside but heatwave aside, ‘tis the season of pools, beach, BBQs, picnics, corn on the cob, and general frivolity. It feels like there is always something to do when the outdoors beckon with possibility. That’s especially good news for someone whose mind tends to spin anytime there’s too much stillness for too long.
I’ll admit that this is a little ironic considering how much I enjoy a day of rotting on the couch. And after two weeks of non-stop travel and responsibilities, I frankly cannot wait to drop my to-do list for a while and just relax. Something I’m coming to terms with, however, is that I don’t do well when relaxation gives way to boredom, a surreptitiously subtle shift that’s almost as synonymous with summer as devouring a frozen popsicle in 95 degree heat. Remember being a teenager and whining to your mom a few weeks into the school break that there’s nothing to do? Or complaining to your dad and announcing “I’m so bored,” only to be met with “hello, Bored, I’m Dad,”?
When the days become longer and the weather is nice enough to spend more hours outside and away from home, there is an expectation that you’re consistently filling your time with worthwhile pursuits. (Trust me, I’ve been searching for more friends with yacht access in 2024.) In theory it sounds nice to always have somewhere to go and something to do, except I’ve yet to meet someone so obsessively booked and busy that they don’t experience at least occasional moments of ennui.
I’m fully aware that boredom in and of itself is a privilege, in that that there is nothing so pressing and all-consuming in your life that you’re able to just wile away a few hours. But for something that many neuroscience experts say is actually a *good* thing for your brain to experience — an organ that is firing off communication 24 hours a day for your entire life — trudging through a stretch of boredom can still feel excruciating.
In truth I miss being at the age when your imagination is just developing and you’re able to play and make believe with abandon. I was always quite adept at entertaining myself as a little kid, tinkering with blocks or dolls or stick horses in my parents’ basement. I didn’t need a screen amuse myself, or even another person around (although Barbies were always much more fun with my sister). Now the common refrain, in NYC especially, is that you drop $50 as soon as you walk out your front door. Finding worthwhile distractions is expensive, much more so than dreaming up an entire world in the safety of your childhood bedroom. But why does it have to be this way?
I loathe the expression that “only boring people get bored,” but I’ll acquiesce that staving off boredom does take more effort than we may care to admit. The fact is that our days of playing pretend are more or less behind us, at least without the help of a first-person video game set in some fantasy world. And when the fallback plan is always some version of eating and drinking (usually a little too much), that tends to get very expensive very quickly. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy it — going out to a nice bar or restaurant is one of my greatest pleasures in life. I’m simply eager to find a new means to relish in my free time (and potentially save a few bucks).
More than anything though is reacquainting myself with boredom in general. I understand in theory that we are not meant to have every minute of every day scheduled with work or otherwise. Still, I struggle with feeling uncomfortable during the moments when I simply… don’t have a plan or an item to check off my to-do list. As much as I don’t like to admit it, it’s difficult for me to endure a true moment of stillness and all that it seemingly implies, in my mind at least. What does it mean? Am I not working hard enough? Am I boring? Have I made a mistake somewhere?
The catch-22 of course is that in 2024, many of us turn to social media to occupy these idle moments, where we catch only the shiniest, most interesting glimpses into friends’ and strangers’ lives, which in turn doubles down on the idea that your own life is nowhere near as glamorous or inspiring. It’s no wonder that some states are cracking down on teen social media usage, citing various mental health concerns.
My hope for kids, and frankly the rest of us glued to our phones, is that these types of limitations will encourage us to once again flex those creative, day-dreamy muscles as it appears that we have all grown a bit lazy with constant access to mindless entertainment. After all, it’s much easier to infinitely scroll than it is to pick up a new hobby or attend a workout class or simply explore the uncharted territories of your imagination.
And, of course, for anyone else grappling with moments that are unscheduled and unstructured, let us all remember that, no, you are not a dull person. Life, by it’s very nature, is sometimes uneventful and that is okay. Sure, be grateful that nothing is going so terribly wrong that you need to panic or email your therapist for an emergency session, but more importantly, allow yourself a moment to exist in that space. Sometimes life is just… a little boring. Acknowledge it and then go outside, touch some grass, call your friend, and take a really deep breath. It won’t feel like this forever.
I’ll drink an #AnxietyBeer to that.
retail < therapy
By Malene Birger Strapless Organic Cotton Maxi Dress: Finding a summer dress that is equal parts comfortable and stylish is such a process. So many of my favorite dresses are silk, which is not conducive to staying cool in this type of heat, which is why this impossibly chic cotton number caught my eye. I’m very drawn to strapless styles at the moment, and the neutral color block style will last much longer than just this current trend cycle. Someone throw a garden party with oodles of champagne so I can rock this number.
Jaime Haller The Double Buckle Sandal in Bare: I’m the first to admit that I wear my go-to Birkenstock Arizonas all spring and summer long (and swap to the shearling style in the fall) but I’m in the market for a similar double strap style that feels a bit more elevated. When I spotted this Jaime Haller pair I nearly dropped my iced latte on my computer. Buttery Italian calfskin?! Plenty of hardware accents?! Sign me up. There are so many gorgeous colors to choose from but this rich tan shade speaks to all my horny and rich goals for the season ahead. Add to cart.
3. Vacation Chardonnay Oil SPF 30: You don’t need me to preach to you about the importance of wearing daily sunscreen yet again, BUT I will say that I am guilty of not paying as much attention to the skin on my body as I do with the skin on my face and neck. But I am newly attuned to how much sun damage my arms and legs receive on a daily basis walking around the city, and I have no interest in developing early onset sunspots/fine lines/skin cancer. My solution is keeping a bottle of this delightful smelling SPF oil on my dresser as a final step before walking out the door. I apply it just before my signature fragrance to protect my skin and serve as another line of defense against the summer stench that creeps in when you’re running around on concrete for hours. Plus it helps me look shiny and expensive, with glass-like skin from head to toe.
Stay tuned for a special Beer Face letter for paid subscribers next week all about my hair loss journey, and a few new tools + treatments that I’m excited to share. Reminder — Beer Face is the sister edition to Anxiety Beer and speaks to more beauty + wellness + mental health topics. It’s fun, you should join :)
Cheers,
xxHB
*If you buy something from one of these links (and I hope you do because they’re awesome!) I might receive an affiliate commission.*